So – here we are again.
I promised a while ago in this blog to introduce the main characters from my book The Sphere.
And I tried to do them justice; I thought about the „right“ words, the „right“ pictures to paint – and I can't bloody wrap my head around them!
So I decided to enter a dialogue with them; let them do the explaining – me being more of a facilitator than the person who writes about them.
After all: They are their own people, and they should be allowed to tell their own story.
Over to you guys!
Hi, I am Bella ΞΙ - my surname is pronounced Xsi. I live on Space Station Δ9 – which is undoubtedly humanities most remote outpost in space – so remote, that 5,000 years ago, a cataclysmic wormhole collapse left Space Station Δ9 stranded in outer space. We do not know what happened to Earth over those millennia. We are out of reach; we are out of communication.
You first meet me as a 16-year-old. But don't be fooled by my tender age! I am an adult - physically and mentally. Early maturation is a trait of us space-stationers; a trait that developed over the millennia.
I am a fully trained historian. I learned my trade from my parents and grandparents. I love history and value the truth; that's why I try my best to create an accurate account of our history – back on Earth as far as we know it, and here on the Space Station. I am still hoping that one day we might be able to reconnect with humankind.
My ability as a historian to paint pictures of environments we have never seen, and my love for keeping things true and realistic, pushed me into my job as a "Sphere interior designer".
Now, let me explain:
The Sphere is an artifact of unknown origin, a creator of unreality, yet beautiful in its appearance, unrivaled; an inspiration and an enigma alike. Something that could be real, but isn’t.
I am happy with my life. Content with the direction it is going. I am comfortable in my own skin. I take great pride in my job and love to help people create the perfect Sphere-World to find happiness and their true calling. I know how important that is. Because I found mine: I help people, I seek the truth.
I look after animals – two horses and a dog. I take them inside The Sphere for five human seconds every day. Five precious seconds, which expand to five days inside the unique interior of The Sphere. It is the world where I love to be, my dream, my life, my Utopia. A remote area in British Columbia served as the blueprint. There, it is just me and the animals. The Sphere doesn't allow more than one human being inside at the same time. Life inside The Sphere is solitary – and not every space stationer can stand it.
I could have lived my life like this forever and ever. But The Sphere threw me a curveball.
His name is Dylan. I met him inside The Sphere, and he turned my life, my beliefs, my values – everything! - upside down. He changed me; he changed my outlook. He also fused us together, and now, we are part of each other's life. Inseparable. Some might call it a parasitic existence. To us, it is a perfect symbiosis.
He is one of the many children of the Universe – a singular entity – a life form, that came into existence 15 billion years ago, shortly after the Big Bang.
And no - I didn't make a mistake by pegging the age of our universe at 15 billion years rather than the generally accepted 13.8. Dylan gives the [purely fictional!] explanation in the book.
He got attracted by my „aura“ - my unique energy signature, which to him is as irresistible as pollen to a bee.
His name is Dylan. I met him inside The Sphere, and he turned my life, my beliefs, my values – everything! - upside down. He changed me; he changed my outlook. He also fused us together, and now, we are part of each other's life. Inseparable. Some might call it a parasitic existence. To us, it is a perfect symbiosis.
He is one of the many children of the Universe – a singular entity – a life form, that came into existence 15 billion years ago, shortly after the Big Bang.
And no - I didn't make a mistake by pegging the age of our universe at 15 billion years rather than the generally accepted 13.8. Dylan gives the [purely fictional!] explanation in the book.
He got attracted by my „aura“ - my unique energy signature, which to him is as irresistible as pollen to a bee.
I fell for him – fast and hard. We committed to each other. I trust him with my life.
There is a catch or two involved, though. Life is never easy – or so they say.
Well – it used to be on the space station, where routines are upheld and valued, stagnancy is security, and changes and challenges are treated with the utmost suspicion and outright fear.
Things flipped upside down, once Dylan entered my life.
For starters: Dylan broke his species' laws by being with me. In the eyes of singular entities, I am a minor life form. His punishment for engaging with me is a slow and agonizing death by energy starvation.
Secondly, by the law of the space station, I am not allowed to have sex before my 18th birthday. I was unconcerned about this restriction because what happens inside The Sphere stays inside The Sphere. I was prepared to lie and hide to have Dylan!
He, however, insisted on obeying our laws, because if he made me break them, I would be exterminated as well; for tainting my own culture or such.
We can only meet inside the safety of The Sphere; five human days at a time. The Sphere's unique time conundrum stretches the time until my 18th birthday to the unbearable.
I - the happy, content teenager became worried for my alien boyfriend's safety, disgruntled because of the wait, edgy, and restless. I feel guilty for having to conceal my love for Dylan from my parents. Lying is something alien to a space stationer born and bred.
The very fabric of my values and beliefs changed so dramatically, that I had a hard time coping.
I became so dissatisfied that I started looking for solutions to get away from the confinement of The Sphere and the restrictions of the space station. I wanted to escape and go back to Earth.
I sought ways to build a spaceship, which was capable of making the journey back to Earth; a distance of five billion light years. Impossible, because we didn't have the technology for faster than light travel, and because of the psychological makeup of our small society.
Isolation in outer space triggered the development of a subspecies of the human race: psychologically and physiologically altered, self-sufficient with a need for high levels of redundancy, and lacking the pioneering spirit, which brought our ancestors to outer space.
I am stubborn. I am resourceful. And giving up has never been an option for me. I convinced Dylan that leaving the space station and The Sphere behind was the only option for finding happiness, freedom, and peace. Earth, I reasoned, was big enough to go undercover, and blending into the human society would allow us to go undetected from Dylan's species.
I started to make inquiries about faster than light travel. I asked an old friend of mine – emphasis on „old“, but he couldn't or wouldn't help me personally. He introduced me to Nick Cole, a young engineer; sinfully handsome, and adventurous like myself.
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#ANK speaking
...and then came the point, when the woman started to confuse me. She veered off my carefully planned plot and started to show me her weak side; a side I didn't know she had! She stopped playing ball and started to do her own thing; reluctantly - because she is a space-stationer and used to obeying the strict rules of people who cannot afford high levels of individualism. And reluctantly I had to let her pick her own way. It was necessary because the whole endeavour of engineering a warp driven spaceship and undertaking a journey through uncharted parts of the universe requires them to cut loose from social and emotional tethers. It requires leaving behind the safety of the cocoon of the space station and embrace the unknown. There is no safety net! Bella realises that, and tries her best to adapt; change her rules; live outside her comfort zone.
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Anathea is right: I lost my initial devil-may-care attitude, the cockiness, which was born of a life where there was nothing to lose. And I think that was exactly the reason why I changed: Once Dylan and I fell in love, I had everything to lose! The prospect left me fearful and worried. I lost my fearless approach to life, my openness, my truth - because I couldn't afford to tell the truth without putting Dylan's existence in danger. Dylan turned out to be my weakness - my Achilles heel. I cannot live without him. To keep him safe, I had to choose between my almost inherent need for the truth and lying to her friends and family.
I suffered a major emotional conflict - a brutal split of my life into alternate realities, which are unreconcilable; oil and water. Parts of me resented Dylan for it – parts of me hated myself for resenting him. I didn't understand it; how could it be? I sometimes wished I'd stayed on Anathea's plotted path. But that's not me anymore! It's my choice, my life, my responsibility.
And then there was Nick. I liked him from the moment I saw him. He is fantastic – charming, funny, and oh so handsome. I said it before: If it weren't for Dylan, I would be with Nick.
We started to work on a blueprint for a warp driven spaceship. A ship capable of traveling many magnitudes faster than light. A ship which could get us to Earth within a human lifespan. An impossible feat with our existing technology – or the lack of a wormhole.
There is a catch or two involved, though. Life is never easy – or so they say.
Well – it used to be on the space station, where routines are upheld and valued, stagnancy is security, and changes and challenges are treated with the utmost suspicion and outright fear.
Things flipped upside down, once Dylan entered my life.
For starters: Dylan broke his species' laws by being with me. In the eyes of singular entities, I am a minor life form. His punishment for engaging with me is a slow and agonizing death by energy starvation.
Secondly, by the law of the space station, I am not allowed to have sex before my 18th birthday. I was unconcerned about this restriction because what happens inside The Sphere stays inside The Sphere. I was prepared to lie and hide to have Dylan!
He, however, insisted on obeying our laws, because if he made me break them, I would be exterminated as well; for tainting my own culture or such.
We can only meet inside the safety of The Sphere; five human days at a time. The Sphere's unique time conundrum stretches the time until my 18th birthday to the unbearable.
I - the happy, content teenager became worried for my alien boyfriend's safety, disgruntled because of the wait, edgy, and restless. I feel guilty for having to conceal my love for Dylan from my parents. Lying is something alien to a space stationer born and bred.
The very fabric of my values and beliefs changed so dramatically, that I had a hard time coping.
I became so dissatisfied that I started looking for solutions to get away from the confinement of The Sphere and the restrictions of the space station. I wanted to escape and go back to Earth.
I sought ways to build a spaceship, which was capable of making the journey back to Earth; a distance of five billion light years. Impossible, because we didn't have the technology for faster than light travel, and because of the psychological makeup of our small society.
Isolation in outer space triggered the development of a subspecies of the human race: psychologically and physiologically altered, self-sufficient with a need for high levels of redundancy, and lacking the pioneering spirit, which brought our ancestors to outer space.
I am stubborn. I am resourceful. And giving up has never been an option for me. I convinced Dylan that leaving the space station and The Sphere behind was the only option for finding happiness, freedom, and peace. Earth, I reasoned, was big enough to go undercover, and blending into the human society would allow us to go undetected from Dylan's species.
I started to make inquiries about faster than light travel. I asked an old friend of mine – emphasis on „old“, but he couldn't or wouldn't help me personally. He introduced me to Nick Cole, a young engineer; sinfully handsome, and adventurous like myself.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#ANK speaking
...and then came the point, when the woman started to confuse me. She veered off my carefully planned plot and started to show me her weak side; a side I didn't know she had! She stopped playing ball and started to do her own thing; reluctantly - because she is a space-stationer and used to obeying the strict rules of people who cannot afford high levels of individualism. And reluctantly I had to let her pick her own way. It was necessary because the whole endeavour of engineering a warp driven spaceship and undertaking a journey through uncharted parts of the universe requires them to cut loose from social and emotional tethers. It requires leaving behind the safety of the cocoon of the space station and embrace the unknown. There is no safety net! Bella realises that, and tries her best to adapt; change her rules; live outside her comfort zone.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anathea is right: I lost my initial devil-may-care attitude, the cockiness, which was born of a life where there was nothing to lose. And I think that was exactly the reason why I changed: Once Dylan and I fell in love, I had everything to lose! The prospect left me fearful and worried. I lost my fearless approach to life, my openness, my truth - because I couldn't afford to tell the truth without putting Dylan's existence in danger. Dylan turned out to be my weakness - my Achilles heel. I cannot live without him. To keep him safe, I had to choose between my almost inherent need for the truth and lying to her friends and family.
I suffered a major emotional conflict - a brutal split of my life into alternate realities, which are unreconcilable; oil and water. Parts of me resented Dylan for it – parts of me hated myself for resenting him. I didn't understand it; how could it be? I sometimes wished I'd stayed on Anathea's plotted path. But that's not me anymore! It's my choice, my life, my responsibility.
And then there was Nick. I liked him from the moment I saw him. He is fantastic – charming, funny, and oh so handsome. I said it before: If it weren't for Dylan, I would be with Nick.
We started to work on a blueprint for a warp driven spaceship. A ship capable of traveling many magnitudes faster than light. A ship which could get us to Earth within a human lifespan. An impossible feat with our existing technology – or the lack of a wormhole.
Nick can look outside the box. Hell! He can step outside the box and with a little help from Dylan, he managed to design a conceptual warp driven spaceship, capable of traveling a billion times faster than light.
He designed it for me! He conceived this ship it to get me away from The Sphere. He learned of Dylan's existence. Dire circumstances forced me to confide in him. I had to – for Dylan's sake. He thinks, Dylan is a figment of my imaginary world inside The Sphere. A rare anomaly, but an anomaly nonetheless. In Nick's world, getting me as far away from The Sphere as fast as possible, was tantamount to extricating me from Dylan; and getting the chance of making me his.
I can't be his! Never“ But Nick needs to believe in the possibility; I need to string him along. It hurts me. I hate myself for it. It isn't right. But what can I do? My hands are bound by the need to keep Dylan safe.
To make our spaceship happen, we must scheme and lie, betray and hurt others.
I must grow a thicker skin or lift Dylan's secret. There is no other solution.
Next time I will let Dylan speak about his take on things.
He designed it for me! He conceived this ship it to get me away from The Sphere. He learned of Dylan's existence. Dire circumstances forced me to confide in him. I had to – for Dylan's sake. He thinks, Dylan is a figment of my imaginary world inside The Sphere. A rare anomaly, but an anomaly nonetheless. In Nick's world, getting me as far away from The Sphere as fast as possible, was tantamount to extricating me from Dylan; and getting the chance of making me his.
I can't be his! Never“ But Nick needs to believe in the possibility; I need to string him along. It hurts me. I hate myself for it. It isn't right. But what can I do? My hands are bound by the need to keep Dylan safe.
To make our spaceship happen, we must scheme and lie, betray and hurt others.
I must grow a thicker skin or lift Dylan's secret. There is no other solution.
Next time I will let Dylan speak about his take on things.
Until then, enjoy #reading and #writing your own stories.
The Sphere is available as ebook and printversion from Amazon.
The Sphere is available as ebook and printversion from Amazon.
